lucila soto

If 42 is THE answer, the I imaagine What are you doing? is the question.

A simple concept behind Twiter. com , has become a huge compound of thoughts, opinions, comments and general sneakiness on our everyday practices.

I have to confess: I am a twitter addict and, from time to time, someone else’s twitters have helped my day or directed my thoughts, even made me laugh! So I decided to create this category as an homage of the wisdom of twitters going around.

Some of these comments are mine, some are not, some are quotes, some are general knowledge and sayings but they all share in common having been posted on-line as twitts.

• A caval donato non si spanna in bocca
• It’s not prostitution; it’s monetizing your love.
• OH: “I wish I could have a foam hammer so I can hit stupid people with it.”
• OH: “You spew out random crap like a toilet!”
• Agreed: men under 25 are called “muffins”
• I only waved back because I thought you were someone I liked. Imagine my disappointment to find out it was only you.
• Because i do what you say you now say nothing at all
• Pretty actresses saying “I look like a tranny” is the new “I’m sooo fat.”
• Overheard: “you’re not fat, you just have the wrong aspect ratio” ROFLMAO
• You’re exactly as tall as you need to be. If shorter your legs wouldn’t reach the ground; if taller, you’d be walking on your knees.
• This is my all time fave quote: “You have a right to your opinions. I just don’t want to hear them.”
• Saw my mama & papa last night.If I’ve done nothing else right at least I’ve produced 2 perfect & wonderful parents.Wait, that can’t be right
• Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they r both disappointed!
• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience!
• Es ojete que te digan que te pareces a alguien más exitoso, rico, famoso y guapo que tú.
• Inspired by the Bellagio fountain, I applauded for my own sprinkler system today.
• I hate it when a person does something special & then makes you feel obligated to be nice to them FOREVER. It’s like indentured asskissitude
• My life will never be sad enough that i’m buying a pregnancy test at family dollar.
• You’re garbage. Pure human garbage. Having to deal with you is like having to deal with garbage.
• Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever!
• How to prepare for Swine Flu:1) avoid mexicans 2) abandon common sense 3) Feel Fear, then pass it along. 4) Eat chicken. 5) think conspiracy
• Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he’s in love with her.
• My safe word is #getthefuckoffbeforeIstabyouinthenuts
• I don’t care who just stole home, I’d just like for you to try to get to third base.
• Am I the only one who constantly evaluates my surroundings with consideration to possible zombie and/or dinosaur attack?
• Family member now convinced they have swine flu. Why? “I’m tired, coughing…” U have a cold. “But I also feel…porky!”
• Your life lies before you like a path of driven snow. Be careful how you tread it, because every step will show.
• You don’t love me. You love my doggy style.
• OH: “Just because I’m in my underwear *doesn’t* mean I’m a baby prostitute!”
• Why are all the good sarcastic British men already taken??

En plein nettoyage de printemps: fringues, livres, magazines, hommes… On jette tout et on recommence!

OH: “This slurpee is making my crotch freeze.”

You know you have no friends when you stink and nobody tells you.

Information is not power. Once you give it away, its news. If you hold onto it, its useless anyway.

If you want to walk fast, walk alone. If you want to walk far, walk together. — African proverb

It’s not prostitution; it’s monetizing your love.

Dad: “You should be a lawyer, you argue all the time.” Me: “Really? You should be a telemarketer because you’re always annoying.”

A caval donato non si spanna in bocca.

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions! – Woody Allen

OH in math: “You can’t watch the food network when you’re hungry. It’s like..porn!”

Dude, my breasts are DOWN HERE. Stop staring at my eyes. What is WRONG with people?

If someone always carried around a whole bunch of male chickens, you could accurately describe them as “cocky.”

Sometimes people TRULY surprise me. And not in the good “hey, let’s have an orgy!” way.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I pass by one more time?

Snacksphere: the 95% air contained in potato chip bags.

I like my men like I like my latte: extra whip, extra hot.

I like my coffee like I like my Exes: finely ground & dark-roasted.

OH: my boobies are two mac minis.

If shuffle mode was a person I’d marry him.

OH:”I wanna go to Japan just to poop”.

Oh you silly, strange little humans… How you amuse me.

If you’re really THAT smart and THAT funny it’ll show, you don’t have to tell us. Again.

Just found out a copy of my birth certificate and realized my name is not acrually Stupid Bitch

When life gives me lemons I make beef stew.

Sometimes I really need to stop myself from asking if you PRACTICE being so annoying cause you’ve got it down to an art form

Ohhh! Can’t you see? Love is a drug to me.

I believe a good pain saving method would be cutting out my heart with a rusty razor and feeding it to some hungry dogs

My pussy can still do the dog.

OH: Friendship is like peeing on yourself… Everyone sees it but only you get the warm feelings that it brings.

Why do I beg like a child for your candy?

It’s wrong somehow that the miracles of the Iphone and 3G broadband mean that I can download lolcats while waiting for my movie to start.

This is the kind of cold that makes sperm die. Yuk.

DUDE you’re grossing me OUT. BUY SOME BALLS and stop ass-kissing. You’re such a GIRL.

Stop making sense.

Oh I screw that last one up. I was still composing and send to soon. Premature twitteration.

Awh, it’s so cute you finally found someone who’ll actually have sex with you.

That’s a good question son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world.

OH: Your fingers are going to be so dirty after this.

OH: He’s so overprotective of his balls.

Your best is good enough for someone, just lower your standards.

Here I am, rock you like a huricane.

Your panic attack is having a panic attack. It’s worse, it’s called a panic-anic attack.

You might not be the best looking girl here but beauty is only one light switch away.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Cause I can totally see myself in them!

I’ve been trying for some time to develop a lifestile that doesn’t requires my presence. Gary Trudeau

OH: Give the gift of kosher prostate

If you can’t walk in your heels don’t wear them.

You ain’t worth the salt in my tears.

Cuttlergeist: an invisible spirit who prevents a room from becoming or stating or clean.

If you can fake lucidity you can fake anything!

Yesterday I wished tomorrow was today.

“Behind every beautiful girl there’s a dumb ass guy who did her wrong and made her strong.”

I’m a time-traveller. I point and laugh at archaeologists.

I rock one glove. I’m just like Michael Jackson. Minus the monkey. WANTED: ONE MONKEY

I believe that 90% of the Japanese Twitter users with cute and/or female avatars are middle-aged male IT engineers

Well maybe the really cute Japanese girls on Twitter are using pictures of tired, balding Japanese businessmen as avatars. Pictures of dad.

Just noticed that my watch has died… not sure when it happened though. Oh wait, 9:12PM last night. That’s right… it’s a watch…
Meetings don’t even qualify as work: actually they’re a waste of time you get paid for

It is a shame the horny chihuahua is so very evil…

Better enjoy this sunshine while it lasts. Looks like plenty of rain is on the horizon.

Look closely at the most embarrassing details and amplify.

Unreliability you can count on.

Sometimes the hardest part of programming is finding the right words for what you know you can express. (Same as with love!)

Says she don’t know me by my name, she just know me by my AIM.

Pourquoi faire simple, quand on peut faire compliqué?

Citrus-flavoured toothpaste is just wrong.

I saw a homeless guy playing a PSP.

You’ve won for now, Consciousness!

• Secretly, the reason I hate overhearing people is that almost inevitably I think they’re stupid, and then I realize I’m a terrible person.
• Moldy Carp! Baker’s Square has ALL YOU CAN EAT PIE!!! For $5.99!!! In my wildest childhood dreams I couldn’t have imagined such awesomeness!
• I woke up this morning singing Like a Virgin. What’s up with that?
• It’s official. My life needs more Chewbacca.
• OH, salon: (lady) How much would you charge to do my hair when I die? (stylist) [pause]. Half price. Because I’d only have to do the front.
• Drinking latté from styrofoam (!) cup while sneering at pro-nukes wired piece. My carbon footprint just swallowed my righteousness.
• Friday: a day when we try our hardest not to do any work.
• Yet another reason for black coffee.
• I know men who wear makeup.
• Mantra: ALWAYS back up
• I think the self proclaimed mind-reader at the market actually likes me now… makes me feel much better about my karma.
• 4 hours had better be enough to get me through this mess.
• I am like your imaginary friend, except I am real.
• Look I made a frog…  .:-:. How cool is that!!!!!
• Dead yesterdays and unborn tomorrows. Why fret we, if today be sweet.
• One Liner: Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired!
• I think kids should take twitter classes to learn how to be concise. World would be more efficient.
• If yes, then – WHY?
• Finishing breakfast and preparing to head in, hoping being in the office doesn’t make my brain turn off like it often seems to.
• I tweet, therefore I am.
• My brain is yawning.
• ¿Cómo le hace la gente para embarazarse hoy en día?
• Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway!
• One Liner: Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
• OneLiner: Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving!
• A good night’s sleep, but still haunted by a few clouds of melancholy.

• I learned about twitter from A.R., now I’m learning about A.R. from twitter .
• My mom is calling holding the phone up to her computer so I can diagnose the “running water sound” coming from her hard drive
• Real coders write their own networking stacks. On punch cards.
• Coffee and email. The breakfast of champions.
• Is Obama’s favorite vegetable Barackoli?
• if there was a way to bribe a 6 month old to sleep, I’d be in.
• I think my brain just shut down, can someone check for me?
• They instantly forget about you as soon as you disappear from their sight.
• Normal people don’t work weekends.
• “It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see…” ~Henry David Thoreau
• I miss u less and less everyday. Stream of whiskey’s helped to wash u away
• The prize is the journey.
• A single’s misery: Orgasm in sleep, would rather a woman anytime. FAAAAARRRRKK.
• Brain refreshed + refueled via more coffee!
• no conzco a nadie que mienta como tú, con tanta disciplina, presición y sinceridad.
• Put your Mac down and stay still!
• If science were really smart then being healthy would taste like chocolate.
• Why is it that every morning lately has felt like a Monday morning?

Twitter, that glorious communication tool that does world wide updates on what everybody within its community is doing by simply answering to the question What are you doing?, has become a huge compound of thoughts, opinions, comments and general sneakiness on our everyday practices.

I have to confess: I am a twitter addict and, from time to time, someone else’s twitters have helped my day or directed my thoughts, even made me laugh! So I decided to create this category as an homage of the wisdom of twitters going around.

Some of these comments are mine, some are not, some are quotes, some are general knowledge and sayings but they all share in common having been posted on-line as twitters and I hope they help you pass your day too.

• I have to say that men are no mystery. Simply: men have no reasoning brain :’)
• The ridiculous absurdity of last week’s impossibleness.
• All of this working with browser cookies is making me hungry.
• It is not what you code but how you can dance with a light saber too.
• Things to ponder… Why do psychics have to ask for your name? An apple a day keeps the doctor away – how about half an apple?
• Have you ever felt too lazy to get out of bed to pee? Wish I had a diaper on.
• Giving up on yourself? giving up some of yourself? life isn’t what you get, love won’t always fill your cup, but life’s when you start to live.
• Every time a new Power Metal song about wizards or dragons or swords is written, Tolkien gets spanked by God in heaven.
• now CEE-riously i am going to have TEE.
• it’s official – I’ll make a lovely housewife one day. Except I’ve no plans to marry anybody, least of all a house.
• Worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.
• “People cannot discover new lands until they have the courage to lose sight of the shore” -Andre Gide
• they call him sticky fingers…
• I would suggest corporal punishment, but I suspect that would only lead to a major disaster and general disarray.
• Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on you for thinking you could fool me twice
• Sometimes there is no explaining and there is where the fun begins, or the misery. Take your pick.
• This whole work thing is getting in the way of my life.
• Programming really is like practicing magic. But C++ is a broken staff.
• There’s a difference between just being a fair question and what’s a good use of the opportunity.
• By virtue of visibly and actively facilitating a conversation with its existing market, a brand will passively expand its market.
• Scripting the report I so mercilessly adlibbed… after the fact
• When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers. -Collen Barrett
• 18th century as a moment when History begins to be articulated singularly, but all of these are totalizing.
• It’s picky, mean spirited and obnoxious.
• Unfortunately, I’m rather fond of my former self.