Passengers

We start the night

together.

With fears, hopes,

uncertain.

Hours go by

and we share intimate,

difficult  moments.

I turn my head to scan the room,

around me they all await, just like me.

Each of them reminds me of myself

while they in turn reflect on me.

Still, we remain strangers.

To each its own,

worries, thoughts, paths

and destinies or destinations.

After all it's 4 in the morning,

in a waiting room nowhere and everywhere.

So much like life.

Supernova Effect

A river flows awakening to Spring.

June makes the rain run through the woods.

Laughter flows carelessly in love.

Just as the cool Autumn wind

makes the golden-brown leaves twirl.

Tears tumble in the darkest times

but oddly enough they do so too

in the happiest ones.

All this energy flowing and transforming,

giving meaning to the world, reaching us all.

Energy out of emotion and feeling.

Energy from effort, pain and joy flow as well from you,

from you to the world, from you reaching other ones

It encircles both you and me.

Make a conscious decision to dedicate

all energy deployed by your daily efforts

to a cherished one, to the ones in need.

Pictures found in Flickr, shot by Eye 2 Eye & NASA Goddard Photo and Video, published as Creative Commons. Thanks for sharing with the world!

January 23rd 1926 – April 22nd 2010

No purest Love

No purest love ever was:

from his smile she drank,

his mighty roar she feared.

When she was a child he took her hand,

showed her a world of wonder

filled with beauty, art & creativity.

When he was an old man,

he took her hand once more.

To reassure life, to restore.

To comfort and to show her strength.

Beauty reflections

How beautiful he can be,

even if age and sickness have  tainted him.

Still a sight of a giant, a body of a  strong man

that  encases the vivid imagination of a restless child.

Beauty  out of strength, love & will.

Beauty shared with all who crossed roads with him,

beauty flowing from him,  bringing light & warmth

to  this dark and quiet room,

to  the whole city and the world.

Determined, stubborn.
Always taking on life head first

Determined, stubborn.

Always taking on life head first
A fierce beast by looks, such deceiving looks
but with a charm that melted hearts.

You were great amongst hunters,
as you managed to trap my heart
with just one look.
My fearless guardian:
Watch over me, be vigilant.
You took a huge chunk of my heart with you,

for now, it’s yours to keep,
until we meet again and your presence
puts it back in its place.

Guard it as well as you once guarded me.
I love you
and I always will.

She died peacefully on a Sunday, November the 15th, at her home, surrounded by her family. I’m confident she wasn’t put through any undue suffering; I sought to give her a chance to normalize her digestive system. Still, the past few days were especially difficult for her. She gave her best and made me keep pushing her a bit farther, based on what I saw in her eyes: a will to go on and beat all the odds, as she’d always done.

This Sunday she seemed a bit happier and stronger. After her short morning walk in the yard, I decided to put her in my bed (which she loves). The autumn sun was coming in through the window. She curled up in a ball (hadn’t done that in several weeks) and fell placidly asleep, while I gently scratched her head.

It was then that Bela felt happy and safe. It was here, in my company and near all her family, that she decided her time with us was at its end. She died without pain, just faded away as briskly as she’d lived her entire life.

Her constant presence, her understanding, independent and self-reliant nature, her joy for life and her loving nose-rubs will be missed; more than she’ll ever know. I know, though, that the end of the road had come for her. Thus, I let her go, knowing that this was the best for her.For the rest of the pack: Aullido, Tallulah, Daniel and myself, life goes on; and we owe it to Bela to live it to the fullest. We owe it to her to always be a bit stubborn, a bit sneaky, a bit reckless, never to stay behind, and of course to always, always keep wagging our tails.

To all of our friends, specially the ones who knew her, who were with us during this last battle, we thank you with all our heart for your help, your support, your kind and encouraging words, and for being there for us.

For her joy of speed,
her joy of life
Her sneakiness
and incredible strength
She was loved,
and you will ever be,
each and every day.
You were a bittersweet flavor,
stubborn,
adorable,
and a real lady,
For these qualities you were admired.
I will miss you
forever more.
You were wise enough
to teach me
the value of life,
the true meaning of fidelity
and the true meaning
of what it is
to take care of
your loved ones.
Always took such good care of me.
Always patient with me.
Allowing me to learn for myself.
Always forgiving.

Farewell my dearest one,
be free to run once more
like we did so many times.
Until we meet to run again,
I will cherish your memory.
You are always,
always,
in my heart.
]]> http://www.lucilasoto.com/?feed=rss2&p=191 0 http://www.lucilasoto.com/?p=102 http://www.lucilasoto.com/?p=102#comments Sat, 16 May 2009 23:45:41 +0000 silicongirl http://www.lucilasoto.com/?p=102 “Vaughan unfolded for me all his obsessions with the mysterious eroticism of wounds: the perverse logic of blood-soaked instrument panels, seat-belts smeared with excrement, sun-visors lined with brain tissue. For Vaughan each crashed car set off a tremor of excitement, in the complex geometries of a dented fender, in the unexpected variations of crushed radiator grilles, in the grotesque overhang of an instrument panel forced on to a driver’s crotch as if in some calibrated act of machine fellatio. The intimate time an space of a single human being had been fossilized forever in this web of chromium knives and frosted glass.” J. G. Ballard, Crash, A novel.

On an inconspicuous Friday, coming from nowhere I underwent one of the most impressively liberating forces in nature: pure physics.
Physics are crushingly natural, mathematical precise matter. It was a crash, a push, another crash and then we stopped: car, dog, heartbeat, space, sound, light, all dead still.
For a moment it was just a complete integration with cause and effect, with purpose and meaning, with finality and understanding. For a brief moment I was freed from all human vain, erratic, superfluous emotion which lately propels me into action.

Then, at the crossroad, the motion and sound returned and I was taken back to dealing with the amenities of existence: insurance companies, adjusters, 3rd parties.

Nonetheless an epiphany came to me. I have had a stupendous life, always in motion, always interesting, I’m made out of awesome but lately I’ve been sidetracked. My self has been observing from the fringes, encased, sedated.
Distractions have been clouding my mind, my self and truly trapping the potential within my sensibilities and emotions. I have never stopped to contemplate, question, learn and apprehend from my every surrounding but I have also been scared to admit true feelings that have me stocked with mediocrity, immaturity, lies and short-sight which were impeding a true growth.

Life, love and search need to be open and non-prohibitive otherwise become nothing but a retrogression.

In that perfectly communion with physics, in that liberating force and explosion all that was most cherished and dear to me -myself in a continuous state of motion, my beloved ones, the truly-permanent cobblestones all along my life-, were present, united and in-tuned. All the choices and detours I’ve taken, every minor detail, from tears lost in a river, to my bruised knees, all pointed to that precise aesthetic-Zeitgeist.

I haven’t changed, but I know I’m not the same. All crippled feelings have been lost, taken by that spectacular crash, pushed away by sheer physics leaving me void from all but a crystal clear understanding of what makes me be. I’m not defined by you, by neither of you, but reinvented, upgraded and outperformed by my own claims, directions and demands at each crossroad.

A simple concept behind Twiter. com , has become a huge compound of thoughts, opinions, comments and general sneakiness on our everyday practices.

I have to confess: I am a twitter addict and, from time to time, someone else’s twitters have helped my day or directed my thoughts, even made me laugh! So I decided to create this category as an homage of the wisdom of twitters going around.

Some of these comments are mine, some are not, some are quotes, some are general knowledge and sayings but they all share in common having been posted on-line as twitts.

• A caval donato non si spanna in bocca
• It’s not prostitution; it’s monetizing your love.
• OH: “I wish I could have a foam hammer so I can hit stupid people with it.”
• OH: “You spew out random crap like a toilet!”
• Agreed: men under 25 are called “muffins”
• I only waved back because I thought you were someone I liked. Imagine my disappointment to find out it was only you.
• Because i do what you say you now say nothing at all
• Pretty actresses saying “I look like a tranny” is the new “I’m sooo fat.”
• Overheard: “you’re not fat, you just have the wrong aspect ratio” ROFLMAO
• You’re exactly as tall as you need to be. If shorter your legs wouldn’t reach the ground; if taller, you’d be walking on your knees.
• This is my all time fave quote: “You have a right to your opinions. I just don’t want to hear them.”
• Saw my mama & papa last night.If I’ve done nothing else right at least I’ve produced 2 perfect & wonderful parents.Wait, that can’t be right
• Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably, they r both disappointed!
• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience!
• Es ojete que te digan que te pareces a alguien más exitoso, rico, famoso y guapo que tú.
• Inspired by the Bellagio fountain, I applauded for my own sprinkler system today.
• I hate it when a person does something special & then makes you feel obligated to be nice to them FOREVER. It’s like indentured asskissitude
• My life will never be sad enough that i’m buying a pregnancy test at family dollar.
• You’re garbage. Pure human garbage. Having to deal with you is like having to deal with garbage.
• Passion makes idiots of the cleverest men, and makes the biggest idiots clever!
• How to prepare for Swine Flu:1) avoid mexicans 2) abandon common sense 3) Feel Fear, then pass it along. 4) Eat chicken. 5) think conspiracy
• Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he’s in love with her.
• My safe word is #getthefuckoffbeforeIstabyouinthenuts
• I don’t care who just stole home, I’d just like for you to try to get to third base.
• Am I the only one who constantly evaluates my surroundings with consideration to possible zombie and/or dinosaur attack?
• Family member now convinced they have swine flu. Why? “I’m tired, coughing…” U have a cold. “But I also feel…porky!”
• Your life lies before you like a path of driven snow. Be careful how you tread it, because every step will show.
• You don’t love me. You love my doggy style.
• OH: “Just because I’m in my underwear *doesn’t* mean I’m a baby prostitute!”
• Why are all the good sarcastic British men already taken??

OH: “This slurpee is making my crotch freeze.”

You know you have no friends when you stink and nobody tells you.

Information is not power. Once you give it away, its news. If you hold onto it, its useless anyway.

If you want to walk fast, walk alone. If you want to walk far, walk together. — African proverb

It’s not prostitution; it’s monetizing your love.

Dad: “You should be a lawyer, you argue all the time.” Me: “Really? You should be a telemarketer because you’re always annoying.”

A caval donato non si spanna in bocca.

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions! – Woody Allen

OH in math: “You can’t watch the food network when you’re hungry. It’s like..porn!”

Dude, my breasts are DOWN HERE. Stop staring at my eyes. What is WRONG with people?

If someone always carried around a whole bunch of male chickens, you could accurately describe them as “cocky.”

Sometimes people TRULY surprise me. And not in the good “hey, let’s have an orgy!” way.

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I pass by one more time?

Snacksphere: the 95% air contained in potato chip bags.

I like my men like I like my latte: extra whip, extra hot.

I like my coffee like I like my Exes: finely ground & dark-roasted.

OH: my boobies are two mac minis.

If shuffle mode was a person I’d marry him.

OH:”I wanna go to Japan just to poop”.

Oh you silly, strange little humans… How you amuse me.

If you’re really THAT smart and THAT funny it’ll show, you don’t have to tell us. Again.

Just found out a copy of my birth certificate and realized my name is not acrually Stupid Bitch

Ars longa, vita brevis. Cum tacent, murmura. Datum diem docet. Spero quod Ego percipio. Fortes Fortuna adiuvat. Inquiro Amor, aetas brevis est, mors est hic. In ars veritas est. Media in vita non funestus nos sumus. Nihil est in intellectum, quod non fuerit primoris in sensu.

• “if a pistol appears in a story, eventually it’s got to be fired”. Necessity is an independent concept. It has different structure from logic, morals or meaning. It’s function lies entirely in the role it plays. What necessity requires DOES need to exist.

I decided to create this new category which is to include a collection of quotes and extracts I have found enticing,  from different books I’ve read. Some have only been interesting, others have produce deep change or even set in motion new ways of thinking. Hope they get to you too or at least you’ll find them amusing.

• The mechanism of the world itself is built on destruction and loss.

• Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time. Pointless thinking is worst than no thinking at all.

• Sheepish butlers’ surgical bottle battles

• A life without reading Hamlet is like a life spent in a coal mine. -Berlioz

• There’s no war that will end all wars. War is a perfect, self-contained being.

• Genius doesn’t specialize; genious is reason itself.

• Whiskey, like a beautiful woman, demands appreciation. You gaze first, then it’s time to drink.

• A good woodsman has only one scar on him.

• Metaphysics is never more than semantic pleasantries anyway.

• … I was evolving into an echo.

• There’s no time in tautologies. That’s the difference between tautologies and dreams. Tautologies are instantaneous, everything is revealed at once. Eternity can actually be experienced.

• Losing you is most difficult for me, but the nature of my love for you is what matters. If it distorts into half-truth, then perhaps it is better not to love you.

• When you say you believe, you allow the possibility of disappointment. And from disappointment or betrayal, there may come dispair. Such is the way of the mind.

• It is like looking for lost drops of rain in a river.

• Two people can sleep in the same bed and still be alone when they close their eyes, if you know what I mean.

Sometimes I really need to stop myself from asking if you PRACTICE being so annoying cause you’ve got it down to an art form

Ohhh! Can’t you see? Love is a drug to me.

I believe a good pain saving method would be cutting out my heart with a rusty razor and feeding it to some hungry dogs

My pussy can still do the dog.

OH: Friendship is like peeing on yourself… Everyone sees it but only you get the warm feelings that it brings.

Why do I beg like a child for your candy?

It’s wrong somehow that the miracles of the Iphone and 3G broadband mean that I can download lolcats while waiting for my movie to start.

This is the kind of cold that makes sperm die. Yuk.

DUDE you’re grossing me OUT. BUY SOME BALLS and stop ass-kissing. You’re such a GIRL.

Stop making sense.

Oh I screw that last one up. I was still composing and send to soon. Premature twitteration.

Awh, it’s so cute you finally found someone who’ll actually have sex with you.

That’s a good question son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world.

OH: Your fingers are going to be so dirty after this.

OH: He’s so overprotective of his balls.

Your best is good enough for someone, just lower your standards.

Here I am, rock you like a huricane.

Your panic attack is having a panic attack. It’s worse, it’s called a panic-anic attack.

You might not be the best looking girl here but beauty is only one light switch away.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Cause I can totally see myself in them!

I’ve been trying for some time to develop a lifestile that doesn’t requires my presence. Gary Trudeau

OH: Give the gift of kosher prostate