Twitter Wisdom VII April 1, 2009
En plein nettoyage de printemps: fringues, livres, magazines, hommes… On jette tout et on recommence!
OH: “This slurpee is making my crotch freeze.”
You know you have no friends when you stink and nobody tells you.
Information is not power. Once you give it away, its news. If you hold onto it, its useless anyway.
If you want to walk fast, walk alone. If you want to walk far, walk together. — African proverb
It’s not prostitution; it’s monetizing your love.
Dad: “You should be a lawyer, you argue all the time.” Me: “Really? You should be a telemarketer because you’re always annoying.”
A caval donato non si spanna in bocca.
Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions! – Woody Allen
OH in math: “You can’t watch the food network when you’re hungry. It’s like..porn!”
Dude, my breasts are DOWN HERE. Stop staring at my eyes. What is WRONG with people?
If someone always carried around a whole bunch of male chickens, you could accurately describe them as “cocky.”
Sometimes people TRULY surprise me. And not in the good “hey, let’s have an orgy!” way.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I pass by one more time?
Snacksphere: the 95% air contained in potato chip bags.
I like my men like I like my latte: extra whip, extra hot.
I like my coffee like I like my Exes: finely ground & dark-roasted.
OH: my boobies are two mac minis.
If shuffle mode was a person I’d marry him.
OH:”I wanna go to Japan just to poop”.
Oh you silly, strange little humans… How you amuse me.
If you’re really THAT smart and THAT funny it’ll show, you don’t have to tell us. Again.
Just found out a copy of my birth certificate and realized my name is not acrually Stupid Bitch
